Posts Tagged ‘coping strategies’

Panic, Procrastination, and Progress

July 15, 2019

I had to get outside my comfort zone a little bit this week. The resulting (mild) panic first made me angry, then got me thinking about plot and character development. I write cozy and comedy, so the tension on my pages can’t ramp up to the level of a crime thriller. My readers know my characters are going to survive (I am writing a series, after all), so tossing in a gratuitous train crash would be silly. I need small tensions that can take my character off the rails temporarily and be funny at the same time, things like the anxiety of creating yet another password (which was one of the things that took me out of my comfort zone). It’s not huge, but it presents a conflict that most readers understand.

Then I read an article about a study which proclaims procrastination is not a moral failure but a response to an unresolved emotional reaction. Well, I could have told you that. I know very well that when I procrastinate about my writing it is because I haven’t dealt with my fear of A) losing the thread of the plot, B) getting wrapped up in a new character to the exclusion of the main ones, or C) having no new story waiting for my attention when the current project is over. Figuring out what I’m afraid of, and acknowledging that even if irrational fear must be faced not suppressed, goes a long way toward getting me back on track.

Rewards help too. Sometimes the reward of finishing the task at hand is enough. Sometimes, I need more. I am quite willing to bribe myself to get to the end of an unpleasant chore (“Self, clean one more room and then you can have an hour of free reading!”), but on occasion I get a reward out of the blue. This week I received a gift from my good friend Margaret Misegades. She found the fabulous addition to my reindeer collection pictured above, and it arrived just when I needed a little pick-me-up.

Moral of the story? I’m not sure. All I know is that finding the reason why I’m panicking or procrastinating is more useful than yelling at myself for not accomplishing more; that I can use whatever insight I might glean to create more nuanced characters; that reindeer are still cool.

Luck and wisdom!

Anxiety Lesson Two

October 5, 2016

Apparently I didn’t get a good enough grasp on being calm. This was another week of fret fests, although I am delighted to say one issue after another was solved with a minimum of fuss. My family calls me Anxiety Woman, able to leap to the worst possible conclusion in a single bound. In an attempt to train myself to react better next time, I pulled out all my old mantras for courage. Then a new one came my way, in the form of a tee shirt.

Lani Longshore tee shirt

I’m only marginally Celtic, but I’ll take anything that keeps me from running in circles. Even knowing that anger and anxiety are often linked (anger being a fear response in many cases), the shirt makes me laugh, and laughing makes me less anxious, and that’s always a good thing.

Another good thing was finishing one of my Colors of the Vineyard challenges (and I do mean finishing, not abandoning).

Lani Longshore tree

I sewed on the last bead, took a deep breath and said, “Self, this is good.” The sleeve is attached and the label will go on soon.

Lani Longshore tree detail

Even better, it is now a perfectly reasonable time to bring out the Halloween decorations. This year I’m adding a new item.

Lani Longshore pumpkin with crows

The pumpkin is molded from heavy plastic. The beads are ready-made appliques. I couldn’t decide between two of the offerings at the store, crows or bats, so I got both. After all, the pumpkin will be seen from several angles. Why have a blank side when I can have bling everywhere?

Lani Longshore pumpkin with bats

Luck and wisdom!